The Bard of the Simulation has arrived | California Governor Louis A. De Barraicua
May 23rd, 2026, 4:32 PM
Interview with the Real Governor Candidate (no the Alter Ego Pirate King from the Future)
Penelope: How has your campaign been so far?
Louis: I have created a comprehensive plan redesign how California can create prosperity for locals through a story that begins with three plot lines 1) Transparency 2) Decentralization to End Homelessness and 3) and Interest-based learning model that mines for the genius in every person
Penelope: Do you really think you can end homelessness by March of 2028?
Louis: I spent the last seven years figuring out what I’d do once I get elected; the plan is called the golden road 1) Transparency 2) The end of HOmelessness 3) Find everyone’s genius and find a place for them in a community where they can contribute their gift.
Penelope: Is it true that you will go into LAUSD schools and tell the story of what really happened
Louis: I promise I will be very polite about it, but people should the behavior of a few people running that district whose priorities have shown to be misaligned.
Penelope: What will you do when you get elected?
Louis: I will enable a plan to initiate God’s Kingdom.
Penelope: What does that mean?
Louis: God’s interface is a story. Every once in a while he sends a type of bard to the world who is kind of a bad ass - the last guy was Jesus - this time it’s me - as the Pirate King from the future Louis XX
Penelope: Correct me if I am wrong, but are you saying that God sent you to creative direct God’s Kingdom?
Louis: Identity is embedded from within - God makes you who ever he wants to make you -- for a long time I told God that I did not believe what he wanted me to believe, but he persuaded me.
Penelope: How did he persuade you?
Louis: He showed me the reality of what is happening inside the Los Angeles Unified School District. I find it a violation of freedom to treat children the way they do - monetizing them, making them feel they way they do - medicating them - when they made up evidence against me it was because I wanted to prove that they were truly corrupt - I just couldn’t believe it - I thought maybe it was a real misunderstanding, but I saw what they did…how they did it…and they even doubled down by making it extremely obvious to me. Once I saw the behavior, then I understood why God kept telling me that I had to explain what Jesus was all about -- the real meaning is Truth - Truth matters -- and the truthful narrative shall be played out as a transformation of educational in California.
Reality is a story from the past though - I am not here to embarrass anyone - all are forgiven - no embarrassment - I come as a messenger of peace, unless, of course - there is a lack of cooperation, which is what we are experiencing right now as a people against a school system that has received over $100 billion dollars in our tax funds in since 2021.
Truthful narrative with kindness - I am not a killer - I am an anthropologist who wants to identify reality to transform it - no one at the district has to be worried about being embarrassed -- I will embody the spirit of Jesus the best I